Here is another quick update for those who were wondering about my appointment yesterday with the doctor. I was in a much better place emotionally this time, as I convinced that indeed this pregnancy is not going well, and since I have not yet miscarried on my own at this time, I knew we would have to make some kind of decision.
The doctor was ready to fight with us again on this I think as he came in rather forcefully said, "Since nothing has happened, your options are still the same..." I interrupted him to say that we had some time to think about the options and that I had some questions for him and then he softened up a bit and said, "OK...shoot!" So I proceeded to ask him if before a D & C if they normally did an ultrasound prior to the surgery. He said that in my case, he saw no need to do that because he was 100% sure that this pregnancy is not viable and such. I told him that though I believed him, at the same time I had read of women who were told that same thing and then a week or so later found a living baby in their womb via ultrasound. I said that I was leaning toward the D & C for the fact of the pain factor and to avoid the trauma and timing of a miscarriage on my own, but that I really wanted that last final look to be sure we were doing the right thing.
He said that if that is what it takes for me to make this decision then he said we could do that. So we set up an appointment for an ultrasound on Oct. 6th at 9am with a pre-op visit with the doctor and then the following morning on Oct. 7th at 7:30am (have to be there at 6:00am--ack) for the D & C. I feel much more at peace about this arrangement and we already have some people in place that are going to care for our kiddos on that Friday anyway. Still need to figure out the Thursday child care though.
Thanks all for praying. I have felt peace in these last few days and the emotions aren't quite as overwhelming lately. I have still been battling pregnancy symptoms that make me nauseous, tired, and sleep irregularly, so that has been hard. However, through it all I am trusting the Lord and know that this is all happening for a reason, though I do not understand fully right now. I have had a friend who has gone through a couple of miscarriages that has been walking me through this time and am very thankful for her and her support. Perhaps the Lord will use me also to be a helper to someone who has struggled in this way also in the future.
Today despite a horrible night of sleep, I was able to (finally) clean the downstairs playroom (including vacuuming---gasp) as well as pick up and vacuum the boy's bedroom also. This is a MAJOR accomplishment around here of late! It is nice to have a little energy today and it was on a surprising day for it for sure!